Starting again
by LuxCastle
Summary: What if Cameron and Chase had got back together in episode 6x17 ? This is the first story I publish here so please review and leave comments, I can only improve :)
1. Chapter 1

What if after episode 17 of season 6, Cameron and Chase had got back together ?

Cameron and Chase were still in the exam room, embraced on the « bed ». Allison was thoughtful.

« I should go... »

She didn't get any answer and didn't expect one.

As she lay there in Chase's arms, she realised she didn't want to go. She felt so good, as if she was where she belonged, where she was meant to be. She didn't want this moment to end and she wished she could just stay there a bit longer.

« Or you could stay a bit more » said Chase, almost pleading

She was surprised to even get an answer but it made her realise that she didn't have to leave, she could just stay there and be with him.

« I really should go... but I don't want to... » she whispered the end, almost hoping he wouldn't hear it but he did.

« – Then don't ! Allison I can change if that's what you need...

– No Robert, you were right, it's not about you, it's always been about me... I did think about killing him _(note : the dictator)_ too I just couldn't because it's not who I am, I couldn't do it even if my life depended on it. No it's not about you, I'm just a huge mess...

– Then let me help you ! We were happy once...

– Yeah but how could you even stay with me after what I've said and done to you ?

– Allison we both made mistakes, but you don't have any reason to leave anymore, don't you think it's time for us to be adults and just move forward ?

– Oh Chase, I so wish it was possible because right here, right now, I feel better than I have in weeks thanks to you, being away from you and the last couple hours made me realise that I can be away from you but I don't want you, I just love you so much Robert... »

In this moment Chase knew it was his chance to be with her, he just didn't if he should push her a bit and risk losing her forever if she refused to stay but he couldn't renounce, not now. So he tried his luck :

« – Allison stay, please. We can make things work, I promise. If you need or want some time, I'll wait for you, as long as you don't give me any false hopes. And if the problem is House then we can go or I can stop working for him, I'll do whatever you need me to...

– You would really do that for me ?

– Of course I would ! I love you Allison, all I want is to be with you. Since you left, there hasn't been a day that's gone by without me thinking of you...

– I missed you so much too

– Please stay... I told you, I can leave this place if you want me to, or I can quit working for House and go back to surgery just, please, stay...

– I want that so much Chase, to be with you, I just don't know if it's fair to you, I'm such a mess, I'm broken...

– Then why won't you let me help you ?! »

She shifted next to him, raising a bit. Deep down she knew she had already made a decision, she just didn't accept it quite yet. She would stay there and give in to love even if she had never done that before and it was the scariest thing to her. Chase was looking expectantly at her. She knew she wouldn't resist much longer. Then she realised that she would never find someone she would love as much as she loved him as long as he was there and it broke her heart just to think about the idea of being away from him any longer. So she leaned in and kissed him.

She could tell he was surprised but he quickly deepened the kiss.

When they parted Chase started talking :

« – Does that mean you're staying ?

– Er... Yes ? » she said smiling

« – Yes ? I'm so glad Allison, you can't imagine how much ! » he was giving her the brightest smile she had ever seen and she too was smiling and giggling

« – Oh yes I can imagine, it was horrible for me to be away from you too !

– Well you don't have to worry about it anymore, I'll be here for you as long as you need me to

– Yeah and about that... We don't have to leave, I missed this place too and I don't want you to quit a job you love especially if I'm the one responsible for us breaking up... I was wrong when I said House changed you… I mean he did change you but he changed all of us working for him so it was hypocritical of me to blame you. We changed together and I think that's part of why I love you so much, we changed together, we grew closer and I just fell more and more in love with you in the process...

– Allison... It means so much to me that you are telling me this, it just makes me so happy that we're back together. »

They stayed there, both very happy that they had been forced to spend these few hours together.

After a few calm minutes when none of them were speaking, just enjoying the moment, someone came knocking on the door, saying they could empty the room.

They looked at each other and laughed.

« I think we should go » surprisingly it was Chase who said that and Cameron was the most reluctant to leave.

They both stood up and got dressed. When it was time for them to leave, Cameron hesitated to ask the questions she had in mind but luckily for her, as if he could read her mind, Chase was the one to ask :

« – So what do you want to do about the papers ? » he was talking about the divorce papers he had signed earlier.

« – We could throw them away, or just burn 'em. Unless you want to bring them to the judge… » there was something kind of mischievous about her look in that moment

« – No ! Not at all ! I know we still have a long way to go but it's not a reason for us to divorce, I mean, we can take things slowly but I don't think we have to divorce in order to do that. You're right I'll just burn them ! » and with that they both started laughing again. Then Chase asked her about her other preoccupation.

« – So for tonight... Do you stay in a hotel or... » (she immediately looked disappointed and sad but couldn't blame him, after all she had been the one lo leave) « ...do you want to come back to our place? »

When she heard the end of his sentence, she was so relieved and immediately wanted to accept especially after him talking about THEIR place !

« – I'd love to ! Well if you want me to of course... And you don't have to say our place just to please me, I can understand, I've been away for quite a few weeks so if you don't want... » he interrupted her before she could even finish her sentence

« – Allison, I really want you to come to OUR place, I've been waiting for it for days ! I just want us to be back together, I mean if you are ready for it...

– Oh of course I am, it's just that I didn't know if you'd be ready or anything...

– Allison I am more than ready, besides you're the one who left, not that I am blaming you, but you said yourself that your are « a mess » even though I don't agree with you... »

She kissed him, not letting him finish his sentence.

« – I'm gonna love being interrupted if you keep kissing me mid-sentence

– Well then you should get used to it because I intend to spend a lot of time kissing you now that we're back together ! »

It was a new part of Allison Cameron he was discovering and he decided he definitely loved it.

Finally, they were both ready to leave and got out of the hospital. When they walked through the hospital's hall, they saw a couple leaving with a new born. It made Allison froze. There was one last thing she had to tell Robert. They were kind of starting over together and she knew it was time for him to know, there had to be no lies to begin again their relationship even if she didn't know if she had the strength to do that right away. But she knew it was the perfect moment so she stopped and turned to face Chase.

« – Robert, there is one last thing I have to tell you, I have to be completely honest with you, I hope you can forgive me... »

It made him suddenly worried, he imagined all kinds of scenarios and by the tone she was using, none of them were happy ones...


	2. Chapter 2

**First of all I'd like to thank everybody's who's read this story and to the ones who've reviewed/favorited/followed this story, it really is so cool ! :)**

 **I hope this new chapter won't disappoint you but it is quite different from the first one so I hope you'll still enjoy it and keep following it !**

« – Robert, there is one last thing I have to tell you, I have to be completely honest with you, I hope you can forgive me... »

It made him suddenly worried, he imagined all kinds of scenarios and by the tone she was using, none of them were happy ones...

"- Forgive you for what Allison ?". She could tell by the tone he was using that he was worried.

"- There is something I didn't tell you about my past…" she looked hesitant and he understood it was something quite important to her and suddenly he wasn't worried about himself or his relationship, he worried about her and just wanted to help her. He extended his arms to hug her and she came to him, it was somehow reassuring to her, she relaxed and there in his arms she started thinking that maybe things were going to be alright, that they could be together.

"- Do you wanna talk about it somewhere else, more private ?" she nodded and so they started walking out of the hospital. They both got on Chase's car, he didn't want her to drive if she wasn't focussed enough on what she was doing. He could feel that she was overwhelmed with emotions. Neither of them talked, it was a quiet trip. He wanted to give her some space before she told him what she had to.

Once they arrived at the apartment, they both sat on the couch. Cameron, looking at the walls, noticed that almost nothing had changed since she had left. She was surprised and felt quite guilty because it just proved her that he must have suffered a lot from their break up just like she had.

Cameron noticed that Chase was staring at her expectantly but he didn't want to push her so he didn't say anything and waited for her to talk and she was grateful for that. After a few seconds of summoning up the courage, she started explaining :

"- When my husband died, I was a wreck. I went to med school but I didn't take care of myself. I felt sick all the time and at the moment I thought it was just because I was devastated for losing him. I couldn't handle the fact that I was never going to be able to tell him about my day or to hear him do so. I broke just to the idea that I was never gonna be able to have even the simplest conversations with him… You know when our relationship began, he would sometimes send me a text during the day to tell me about something that had happened to him. It was never a big deal, just a small thing but he always managed to make me smile and make my day better. And when I lost him, something inside of me broke and all I could think about was how much I missed him, how much I wanted to talk to him. When I started going out a bit again and something would happen to me, something very insignificant like something I had found funny, I would think "oh I have to tell him" but then I would realise that I couldn't because he wasn't there anymore. So just when I had started feeling better I broke even more because every day, every hour something reminded me of him and it became unbearable. So I started working harder than ever, telling myself that it would prevent me from thinking about him. And it did. I was working hard, earning better grades than the previous semesters. But while I was working so hard, I didn't take care of myself, I barely ate and I rarely went out, even just for a walk. So what was bound to happen happened. One day, it was 2 months after his death, during a class I passed out. The others attending this class brought me to the emergencies even though after waking up I had told them not to. My classmates and even the teacher were all worried about me, they hadn't stopped telling me to take a break and take better care of myself after what had happened. My friends had kept telling me that they didn't want to see me destroy myself. But I hadn't listened to them so there I was heading for the emergencies. When I saw the doctor, I quickly told him what had happened, not making a big deal out of it as I was sure it was nothing and I just wanted to go home. So when he took my blood pressure and thought it was quite low, he decided to take a blood sample. When he came back with the results, he asked me when I had last had sexual relations, and just with that I knew I was pregnant, which he confirmed but he told me that there was a problem with the baby. I was 4 months pregnant and since I hadn't really taken good care of myself in the past 2 months, the baby was weak and unhealthy. I felt so guilty, first for not noticing and then because I hadn't been able to take care of my baby which was almost everything I had left of him. I tried to process this but my mind wouldn't accept it. I couldn't accept that I was gonna have a baby and raise it alone. I felt angry and sad and desperate and many other things at the time. Suddenly it became all too much for me and I collapsed. I woke up later in a hospital bed. When I called for a nurse, I immediately knew something was very wrong judging by the face she was making and her sympathetic look. She called for a doctor and the one I had seen earlier entered the room a few minutes later. He told me that I had had a miscarriage. I felt more broken than ever for it felt like I had lost another part of him. He wanted to have me talk to a psychologist which I refused, I felt as if I had to go through all this on my own. After a few weeks, or more like a few months, I started feeling better and I was able to forgive myself for losing our baby. I had accepted it and I stopped blaming myself for that. As you know we had decided to froze my husband's sperm when he was diagnosed and at that time I started thinking about having a baby. So I went to the clinic and they ran some tests on me. That's where I learned that I had very few chances of ever getting pregnant and they explained to me that it was because of my miscarriage a few months before that. So I decided not to try because I knew was taking a risk and that I might waste every chance I had to get pregnant with his child and that after that I would have lost everything that connected me to him… That's why I need you to forgive me Robert… I might never be able to have any children and that's all my fault because I didn't take care of myself and it damaged me even more than I already was. That's why it's been so hard for me to even be with you, to let you in, I knew from the beginning how broken I was… But somehow you managed to "fix" me and that's why I need you so much… I'm so sorry…"

She ended her story and she was really grateful that he hadn't interrupted her because she didn't know if she could have told him the whole story if he had. At some point she had started crying and he was now shedding her tears.

"- Allison… Allison look at me" she turned her beautiful eyes to him, then he started speaking :

"- Allison I don't even know where to begin… You have been through so much… What I see right now is not a broken woman but a very strong one, you've gone through hard times and still, here you are. I know you may not believe it, but, hey, Allison, you are the strongest person I've ever had the chance to meet. And I should be the one to be sorry. I'm sorry that you didn't feel like you could tell all of this to me before, I'm sorry that I didn't make you comfortable enough for you to talk about it…"

\- So does that mean that you forgive me ?" She looked expectantly at him.

"No, I don't... I don't because I don't think I have to forgive you. You did nothing wrong Allison. You were in a bad place and it was never your fault." The look of sadness that had passed upon her face when he had told her that he hadn't forgiven her was replaced by a happier one and tears, of joy this time.

She knew they still had a lot to go through together, there was much they needed to talk about but at least they would be together and it was the only reassurance she needed at the moment.

 **So I hope you liked it, the next chapters should be happier ones :)**


	3. Chapter 3

After a long talk, they went to bed together, needing the other one's comfort, Cameron feeling safer than she had in weeks.

They had talked on the morning and decided to get really back together just not moving together right away, time for them to figure out their relationship. They both took the day off to be together and went for a walk. They had just arrived near a park when Chase asked :

"- Do you intend on coming back to work here, in Princeton ?

\- Yeah, I think… unless you don't want me to !" she said playfully

\- Oh yes of course I want to ! Besides we would see each other more so I'm totally okay with it

\- Then I'll ask Cuddy if she still has a spot for me.

\- I don't think it's gonna be a problem. I'm mean not that I know much about this stuff but…

\- Would you know something I don't ?

\- Well… I might've asked her if she would take you back if you decided to come back soon…

\- Oh, right…" she said feeling guilty once again for putting him through this.

"- I guess I was right to do so since you're back". He said smiling

"- And I couldn't be more glad that you were. I can't wait to have my old job back, I gotta say, the place I worked in in Chicago after leaving was quite different and not really as great as PPTH so it will be great to be back.

\- Yeah and I'm glad we might be able to work together again sometimes.

\- Well it depends on what job Cuddy has for me, I mean I don't know where I'll be working since before I left I was kind of back in House's team but I used to work in the ER before that so I don't know where I'll be. Are you still working for House ?

\- Yes, along with Thirteen, Taub and Foreman.

\- Ok well I don't think I'll be back working for House, you are already four and besides I don't know if I want to work with him anymore, not after what I said to him when I left.

\- What was that ? What did you tell him ?

\- That there was no way back for either of you. That he poisoned you, ruined you so you couldn't even see right from wrong… and I really believe it. Believed it.

\- Allison, I… you're right he changed me, he made me a better doctor but not a better person. And I don't know if me killing Dibala was really me or if it's just a consequence of how House has managed to affect my judgement but I can assure you if I could, I would change what I did. You can't imagine how it has affected me. I think about it every day, I know that at the time I thought I was doing the right thing but…

\- I know that, I even thought about doing it myself thinking about the thousands of other lives that would be saved

\- Exactly but you didn't do it, I should have known better, I shouldn't have done that. Maybe I could've found some other way to prevent him from going back to his country, I just… I didn't know what to do and I kept thinking about all the people that would die if I didn't do something…

\- I know Chase, I know… And I'm sorry that I used it as an excuse. At the time, it felt like the right excuse but the more I thought about it, the more it felt wrong. I accused you of not being able to see right from wrong when it wasn't the problem. I was the problem. I started feeling in danger because I was really happy with you and didn't want to lose you like I lost my first husband. Even if we had barely talked about it, I knew you wanted to have a family and I didn't know if I could give you that, I was scared as hell… I hope you can forgive me one day.

\- It's okay Allison, It's also my fault, I should have seen that there was a problem, I should have made you feel comfortable enough to tell me your story… Now how about I forgive you and you forgive me and we can take a fresh start ?

\- Sounds good to me.

\- So what do you want to do today ?" he asked.

"- Well I was thinking when we are done walking through the park, we could go to the hospital so that I can ask Cuddy about a job and if everything goes well, I can go back to Chicago tomorrow and pack my stuff to come back here.

\- Sounds like a plan. Do you want me to come with you ?

\- At the hospital or Chicago ?

\- Well why not both, I mean I've never visited Chicago so you can give me a tour and we can spend a few days just the two of us, away from work.

\- That would be great."

After that they walked back to the apartment and left for the hospital where Cameron had arranged a meeting with Cuddy.

Once at PPTH, Chase went to House's office to let him know that he wouldn't work the following days and Cameron headed towards Cuddy's office. She stood in front of the door, a bit anxious about this meeting. Finally she knocked :

"Come in." As Cameron entered the room, Cuddy raised her head and a smile spread on her face when she saw who it was. "Well it's good to see you doctor Cameron"

"- It's good to see you too. I'm glad to be back.

\- Yeah so you told me on the phone you wanted to come back here. Are you sure it's definitive ?

\- Positive. Chase and I talked a lot about this, I'm sure.

\- Great because for the position I want to offer you, I need to be sure you'll stay.

\- I will, I promise. I'm definitely back.

\- Okay so let's talk. I know you said you didn't want to do it but I wanted to know if you had changed your mind about replacing me. I could really use some more time with my daughter and you're the only one I trust to handle House. And given the way you left, I know you'll do great.

\- Well it's hum… unexpected !

\- I know and I would totally understand if you still didn't want to do it it's just…

\- No, no it's okay ! It's unexpected but in a good way. Actually I'd love to do that, I know I said I didn't want to but things are different now and I think I'm ready for a change. But you're not leaving your job ? I mean not completely ?

\- No actually it would be a few days a week. I would work part time and you would replace me the other days. And if you want to, you could work in the ER the rest of the time.

\- It seems great to me. I'd love to do both. Honestly I couldn't have dreamt any better.

\- Well don't be so enthusiastic right away, you'll still have to handle House." She says laughing

\- Yeah, well, I'll do my best, even though I can't promise anything.

\- I know you'll do great, I've seen you handle him multiple times.

\- Thank you. And thank you for offering this to me. I really couldn't have hoped for anything better."

They kept chatting for a while. When they were done, Cameron had Cuddy page Chase so that they could go back to the apartment. On the way there Cameron told Chase about Cuddy's offer which she had accepted. Chase was beyond thrilled and very enthusiastic for her. He had dreamt about a future with Allison and now he could see it coming true.


End file.
